


What are fanfiction characters doing, while ...

by Lintalome



Category: Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien, TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-01
Updated: 2009-11-01
Packaged: 2017-10-03 01:20:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lintalome/pseuds/Lintalome
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just some silly musings!</p>
            </blockquote>





	What are fanfiction characters doing, while ...

**Author's Note:**

> There is only a slight hint to slash.
> 
> **Disclaimer:** Even though I have not mentioned any names of characters or places, all elves, except my original character (the golden-eyed elf), and their surroundings belong to Tolkien and/or his estate. I'm just borrowing them and make no profit. However, the original character is © to myself as well as the plot and may not be used, archived or reproduced without my permission.

*~*~*~*~*

 

Two lonely, shivering figures huddled close to each other on the snow-covered surface of a frozen lake located in a small forest, which was surrounded by a peacefully sleeping, snowy valley.

 

*~*~*

 

“I feel cold! We should have unpacked the fur and the blanket instead of leaving the bag over there. Had we done so, there would be no need to sit on ice and snow now,” the silver-eyed one muttered through gritted teeth while pointing towards the leather bag. “Darn it! I am freezing my buns off!”

“We are Elves,” his golden-eyed friend hissed, “we do not feel the cold!”

“Oh, I see,” the silver-eyed one responded with a quirked eyebrow. “But why then are thy teeth chattering?”

“I do **_not_** feel cold,” the other flashed back with gleaming golden eyes, drawing his cloak closer around his shivering form. “But my boots are completely soaked and my clothes and hair are unpleasantly wet as well.”

“This is thine own fault! All this is thy fault,” the silver-eyed one glared enraged. “It was thy _glorious_ idea to come here, so thou art to blame for our unfortunate situation!”

“Wert thou not the one who did not like my food? Thou didst complain that our meals were too monotonous and tasteless,” the golden-eyed Elf reminded the other. “Why art thou always so damned fastidious?”

“Nevertheless, it is thy fault that we are sitting here,” the silver-eyed Elf muttered, casting his friend a penetrating glance from beneath long, dark lashes, before he spoke up again in a soft, velvety voice. “Maybe thou couldst … warm me … a bit, to make amends for it? Well, what I mean is, that we could keep each other warm … pressing our heated bodies against one another … closely entwined …”

“Fastidious and lusty! Thinkest thou thyself irresistible?” the golden-eyed one commented annoyed. “Even if I would be inclined to do such a thing, nothing like this will happen, and thou knowest why!”

The golden-eyed Elf slightly turned his upper body to get a better view of his companion, intently watched the Elf beside him. Slowly his gaze wandered down his friend’s body, coming to a halt when he glanced at the other’s groin. With a seductive smile the golden-eyed one leaned closer, their lips almost touching, his warm breath softly caressing the other’s skin, making him shudder slightly.

“If thou wouldst bid me, I might be willing to … lend you … a helping hand,” purred the golden-eyed Elf in a silken voice and looked deeply into his friend’s silvery eyes. “In this awkward situation, this is the only … service … I can offer thee, but I doubt this would fulfil those lusty fantasies thou hast!”

“I thank thee for thy … tempting … offer, however, I will have to decline,” the silver-eyed Elf responded sharply and leaned away from his friend. “As thou canst see, I have two hale hands of my own, thy … service … will certainly not bee required in this matter.”

 

*~*~*

 

They sat in silence for some time, both of them staring into the small hole in front of them, now and then secretly glancing at one another.

“I am hungry,” the silver-eyed Elf suddenly muttered, rubbing his belly. “Why didst thou leave the bag with the food over there, where it is out of reach?”

“Fastidious, lusty and gluttonous,” his golden-eyed friend hissed, gripping a handful of snow, angrily flinging it towards the other’s face. “And before I forget it, thou art also stubborn, arrogant, overly proud and ill-tempered!” The snow missed his friend by a hair's breadth, the silver-eyed Elf dodging it just in time.

 

*~*~*

 

They fell silent again, furiously glaring at one another before the golden-eyed Elf carefully cast his friend a sheepish glance.

“I am sorry,” the golden-eyed one spoke in a low voice. “I did not mean this. I am merely at a complete loss what we could do. The whole situation seems so hopeless, and the constant waiting is almost driving me mad!”

“I feel the same way,” the silver-eyed one responded with a genuine smile, leaning towards his friend. "But please promise me one thing my friend: we will never go ice fishing again!”

“No more ice fishing, I promise,” the golden-eyed Elf acknowledged with a nod before he pressed closer against his friend, burying his face in the other’s soft hair.

“Thinkest thou some fishes will bite anytime soon,” the Elf with the silvery eyes asked tentatively, embracing the golden-eyed one and gently stroking his dark, silken mane. “I am _so_ hungry, I would even eat them raw.”

“Thou knowest quite well that no fish will bite,” the golden-eyed Elf sighed, leaning deeper into the comforting embrace. “Nothing will happen, not until **_she_** decides that it will happen.”

“At least the ice is solid,” the silver-eyed Elf spoke wearily. “I am not in the mood to …”

“Do not even think about this,” the golden eyed Elf whispered, glancing around wide-eyed while he pressed the palm of his hand over his friend’s lips, gently silencing him. “What if **_she_** can hear thee and decides that she likes that idea? Thou knowest **_she_** can be quite nasty at times!”

“Forgive me, my friend. I completely forgot about **_her_** for a moment", the silver-eyed Elf murmured. “Sweet Eru, hopefully **_she_** is in a good and peaceful mood when **_she_** continues to write on with this chapter, and hopefully **_she_** decides to do so soon. I merely wish to go home!”

These last words were accompanied by an almost desperate sigh of the silver-eyed one, before he pulled his friend into another tight embrace, which was warming and comforting for both of them.

 

*~*~*~*

 

So what are our beloved fanfiction characters doing, while we, the authors, suddenly stop writing in the midst of a chapter? What happens, if we just abandon them while they are caught in awkward situations, or if we decide to have a rather nasty cliffhanger?

Maybe they argue with one another, are in anguish or shiver and tremble, fearing all the wicked things we might have in mind for them. Perhaps some even send a quick prayer to Eru Ilúvatar, asking him to protect them from pain and torment and that they might be granted some sweet hours of cosy togetherness instead.

 

*~*~*~*~*

**Author's Note:**

> This little, senseless parody is a rather spontaneous spin-off of the fanfiction I am actually writing. I did not manage to finish the chapter I had planned, and broke off writing after I had shooed the two characters onto that frozen lake to do some ice fishing. Later I commented, that the two will have to sit on that lake, freezing their buns off, until I write on.
> 
> This comment did not leave me any rest, I needed to figure out how they looked, sitting there on the lake, freezing and shivering. When I was at work the following day, there was an empty piece of paper on my desk and it particularly screamed for some attention. When I finished work in the evening this little ficlet was the result of my scribbling.
> 
> After editing it a bit, this is the final result of my musings. Hopefully it is not a complete mess.


End file.
